Managing Aggressive Behaviors: A Guide for Parents

Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) face many challenges. One of the most frustrating, for the child and their parents, is a difficulty expressing their wants and needs. This can lead to the child using aggressive behavior.

It’s important to try to understand why your child might be acting out. A Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) conducted by a qualified professional is one of the ways to determine for sure why your child might be engaging in aggression. Learning more about the functions of behavior can help you, as the parent, begin to narrow down the possible reasons.

Here are some general strategies you can use when your child displays aggressive behaviors:

Ignore the behavior: This doesn’t mean to ignore your child, just their negative behavior. If your child begins hitting you, don’t engage. You can look in another direction, or walk into another room. You want to teach your child that this behavior won’t yield the results that they want.

Try to communicate: Once the behavior appears to be winding down, work with your child to try to determine their wants and needs using the way that is most comfortable to them. You are showing that when they communicate what they need in an appropriate way, they will receive the attention that they need.

Redirect your child to a different activity: This is most effective when your child is upset over something like a toy being taken away, or being told no. However, it’s important to remember that this is not a good strategy if your child became aggressive to escape something they didn’t want to do, such as bathtime, chores, etc.

Reward positive behavior: It is incredibly important to reward your child when they engage in behaviors other than aggression, such as communication. This can be something like a snack they enjoy, or a certain amount of playtime.

There are some strategies that a parent or caregiver can use in order to try to prevent the behavior from happening in the first place. These proactive strategies can include:

  • Allowing your child to make choices about what they would like to do, eat, etc.

  • Following a set schedule

  • Using a reward system for good behavior

  • Setting up your environment for success: if something is off limits, put it out of your child’s sight. If you can do something to make a task your child doesn’t enjoy more comfortable, try to do that.

  • Using functional communication strategies: work with your child to communicate effectively in the way that is most comfortable to them. This might include words, signs, pictures, or adaptive technology.

The most important thing to remember is to not give in when your child shows aggression. An autism specialist, such as a BCBA, can help to determine what is causing this behavior and come up with strategies to stop it. Behavior Frontiers' ABA program targets the behaviors that worry your family the most, including aggression.

In the meantime, the best thing a caregiver can do is to remain consistent and use these strategies each time your child engages in aggression. As challenging as this might be, it will get better!

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