Creating Calm Spaces for Your Child
With the current situation in the world, it is easy for us, as adults, to feel overwhelmed or anxious. We have certain outlets that we can take to vent our frustrations: getting out of the house for a little while, unplugging from social media, talking to a friend, or just being alone for a few minutes. It is important to remember, however, that our children are feeling these same anxieties, but frequently without the outlets that we enjoy. Children, especially children with special needs, absorb these frustrations, but don’t have the ability to express what they are feeling, or to work it out in any meaningful way.
This is why mindfulness can be so important for children. By helping your children verbalize what they are feeling, and to come to peace with it, you can help them to get through this terrible situation that we are all dealing with. You can also help them, as they advance through life, to be better equipped to handle struggles as they arise.
One of the best ways to incorporate mindfulness into your child’s routine is by creating a space in which they can be calm and come to terms with their feelings. For parents of children with special needs, this is even more important, because these children are frequently less able to verbalize how they are feeling when they are under pressure. But by creating a space for your child to regain composure, you can help them on their first step toward expressing and conquering their anxiety.
The Perfect Spot
Possibly, the most important thing for creating a safe space for your child to enjoy is the selection of the space itself. It doesn’t have to be a large space at all! It should, however, be somewhat out of the way, and away from common noises and distractions that may be distressing to your child. Good examples of a calm space might be a laundry room, a bedroom with no one in it, or even a quiet corner of the living room. Ideally, this should be a place that your child can go to in order to be calm, so if the people in your home are causing stress for your child, it is vital that the space be free from these stressors.
Next, work on placing things in the calm space that will help your child to re-center. Some good ideas might include:
Some favorite toys
Soft blankets and pillows
Comforting pictures, such as photos of family or pets
Sensory aids, such as an eye mask, ear plugs or earmuffs, or a weighted vest
Calming activities, such as coloring sheets and crayons
Next Steps
Ideally, you will work with your child to set up the calm space with the things that work best for them. At this point, you can talk to your child about what the space can be used for. If your child struggles with getting overwhelmed, perhaps you can work out a signal that they can give you to let you know that they need to go to their space. If your child is nonverbal, this is a great opportunity to add a symbol to their play schedule, visual schedule or PECS system to indicate a time that they will go to their space.
Make sure they understand that this space is NOT a punishment. They won’t be placed or kept here against their will. This is fully their space, to use as a safe place to unwind. Make sure that they understand your expectations for them, and for their use of their calming place. If you have any rules, such as no tablet use or games, in their safe space, talk to them about these rules.
When it comes time for your child to leave their space, work with them on transitions. If possible, join your child for some activities that bring them back into the main space of the house. Some calming, but accompanied, activities could be deep breathing exercises, telling stories, or doing some basic stretching or an easy dance party.
For some additional inspiration, check out this feelings chart! You can work with your child to identify the emotions that they are feeling, and which of the emotions might be helped by some time in their quiet place.
Allie Wyatt
Expansion Coordinator, Bakersfield, CA
Tuesday, June 30, 2020